Set It Down
Published in December 2021, this article offers an invitation that bears repeating.
My husband and I were driving home from visiting family for Thanksgiving. The visit had been delightful, filled with delicious food and good fun. Now it was time to turn my attention to Christmas. Without fully realizing, I picked up an imaginative basket in my mind and began filling it with expectations.
I placed “holiday decorating” in the basket. I would unpack all the décor I had stored away last year. The sleighs, snowmen, nativity sets, Christmas trees, ribbons, Santas, candles, and ornaments would be placed in the appropriate areas. This experience always included enough dust to activate my allergies, while my step-counter and my knees would register the multiple jaunts up and down the stairs, plus climbing the ladders. But it had to be done; it wouldn’t seem like Christmas without it.
Next, I loaded “gift giving” in my mental basket. Even more than usual, I wanted to support our local small businesses. I hoped we could find the perfect gifts for the people on our list – something meaningful and affordable, something the receiver could use when they’ve already bought everything they need, something that they might want even though their lives and homes were full. Christmas would be so much better if we could get this right.
As I continued thinking about the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year, I carefully positioned “friends and family gatherings” into the basket. I wondered if I ought to host a party for our friends. Plans had already been made for extended family gatherings, as well as our nuclear family celebrating together. I hoped everyone could be together in the same place at the same time. The traditional wish for family members filling the house with laughter formed in my mind. I hoped that the relatives would be “nice” when we got together. Maybe this would be the year that I could have the right thing to say that would keep certain people from spouting their political perspectives in such a provocative way. If I planned well, maybe I could have a topic or two to use as a diversion when conversation got dicey. I’d hate for Christmas to be ruined with a shouting match.
Each celebration would require food. Traditional dishes and desserts were always welcomed, but maybe this year, trying a new recipe would be well received. Perhaps I should search through various websites for the perfect recipe – one that was not-too-spicy but had a little kick, one that was healthy AND delicious, one that added a twist to a traditional dish, one that could satisfy every palate. Christmas just wouldn’t be the same without plenty of good food and extremely full bellies.
My thoughts were picking up steam. Years ago, I had stopped sending Christmas cards. Was this the year to start that again? I could go through the photos of our past year and find a couple of flawless pictures; the smiles inviting, the eyes open, the light shining properly, the pose … not awkward. Then I could use a website to create a card and then mail them to all our loved ones and friends who were near and far. Maybe I could include the exact right sentiment on the card. One never knows when the perfectly stated Holiday greeting can warm someone’s heart.
I carried this basket for several days … which felt like several weeks … as I planned and prepared for the Holidays. The longer I carried it, the heavier it got. I crossed tasks off my to-do list; yet, there was still such a weightiness. No matter how much I accomplished, the expectations remained in my basket. Are the decorations enough? We didn’t put lights outside. Would the gifts be the right gifts? We didn’t spend as much as we did other years. Would the food meet the relatives’ approval? I planned for non-traditional food in the hopes of healthier choices. What would I say when that relative made unwelcome comments … like they always did?
The weight of the basket was staggering. So, I set it down and walked away, wondering why I ever picked it up at all.
May all our wonderings and wanderings lead us home.
